Coping With An Invisible Illness

Ryan battles Crohn's diesease which for the most part is an invsible illness.  On the outside you cannot tell anything is wrong with him, but there is havoc wreaking on his body from the inside out.

Here is how we are learning to deal with an invisible chronic illness...

1. Educate yourself.  Get your hands on legitimate material from the doctor, the Internet, or other sources to know what to expect with your particular illness.

2. Educate others.  You won't be able to get everyone on board with fully understanding what is happening with an invisible illness, but for those close to you, go for it!  I once wrote an e-mail to our family and several others outlining dietary allowances, what to expect from this illness, and our desires from others (ex: removing shoes and washing hands when they come over).

3. Have grace.  With others comments, with your own coping, with your spouse's journey.

4. Figure out your capabilities as a married couple for connection time.  Maybe journeying to a movie theatre is out of the question, but ordering in some yummy food with a Redbox might be doable!  Figure out what you can and cannot do so that you can connect often

5. Communicate!  Often.  Talk to each other about how you're both doing, what is on your mind that day, struggles, joys, frustrations, or what you might need differently.  Communicate well.

6. Consider life insurance.  God forbid you ever have to use it, but it might be a worthy investment if you can get coverage.

7. Become the expert on your health insurance.  What is covered? Surgeries, medicines, medical supplies?  What is your deductible, your co-pay and you maximum out of pocket cost.

8.  Go to the Lord often.  Make time every single day for Him.  Be in the word, filling yourself up with truth, and praying the promises of God over you and your spouse.  This is the most crucial!

9.  Ask for and accept help.  You might send out an e-mail to special family and friends asking for help with the yard, or that it would be lovely to receive a meal once a week.  Or ask your best friends or parents to coordinate and communicate particular needs for you.

10.  Try to get comfortable with uncomfortable emotions or places.  Sadness, anger, frustration, questioning, not understanding, exhausting, missed expectations.  If you can be flexible and OK that hard feelings will come up, we've noticed that coping and healing are much more within our grasp.

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With JOY,
Ryan & Carly