FAQ We Receive

We receive e-mails and Facebook message with questions, stories, and people sharing testimonies of battling chronic illness in young marriage and relationships.  I get VERY jazzed and am always thrilled to respond!!  Here are some of the FAQ which might give a better look into our journey...

Decker FAQ

 Were you ever mad at God?

Yup.  Although I don't think those feelings of anger scare away our God, I do think the emotion of anger came from a feeling of sinful self preservation and thinking we "deserved" better.  The book of Psalms covers every negative emotion from anger, to rage, to fear, to heartache.  God isn't intimidated by what we bring to Him which I am SO glad for.  We needed to understand why we were angry, that is was OK, be real with God, and seek out what His word says is true.  There is no anger now because we have a better understanding of His heart and that there is a very real possibility that He calls those who love him to suffering.

How have you paid the bills the last 6 months-did you work?

Ryan's work graciously paid him while he was on medical leave.  His CEO and COO are two godly and incredible men who love the Lord and care for their employees with such generosity and love.  My work was also flexible and allowed me to work random hours, reduced hours when needed and supported us very well also.  God provides!!

How old are you both?  You seem so young to be going through this.

Ryan was 25 at diagnosis and now 26.  Carly is 23.

What do you do after a long, hard day of frustrations?

Oh man that is a hard one!  Bad days happened because of fevers, too much poop (ha!) or Ryan just generally not feeling well.  It works well when we can be on high alert and begin to notice sneeky irritants surfacing up in our hearts.  Like shortened tempers, sarcasm, and that kind of on-edge feeling.  We'll try to keep our plans simple that night, possibly go for a walk, go to bed early, and have lots of grace with each other in those moments!

How do you two do date nights?

When Ryan was very ill we did date nights with a lot of creativity and based on what his health would allow.  It might be a movie in with homemade dinner, or dessert and swapped foot rubs on the couch.  Read here for more ideas about date nights in!  Now, we are more able to do "normal" date nights at local events, putt-putting, or dinner out.

I am interested in Guest Posting for RFF...what should I do?

 First, click on the "Contact Us" tab on the top of the page and fill out an intro to you and your idea.  You and I will discuss details from there. You may write about anything God leads you to!!  A personal experience, devotional, advice, or something else.  Read our first guest post here with several to be published soon!  I'm open to all ideas.

What is something important you want people in a health crisis to know?

3 Things:  #1. You need Jesus.  Seek Him out.  #2.  Don't do this alone.  You need community-even if you think you can do this alone, don't be a fool, you need people!  #3.  Be gentle to yourself and your spouse.

Is Ryan ok now?

As of September/October 2012, yes he is beginning to be ok!  He is on Remicade, he has an ileostomy, and is steadily gaining back weight and muscle.  He has suffered incredibly, but he is well and on a path to meaningful recovery.  Read our full health journey here.

Please send more questions if you have them!  We answer every e-mail and love hearing from you!

With JOY,

Ryan & Carly